One question to ask yourself to determine if have healthy relationships with the different people around you is:

"Do relationships make me Grow, Expand, Excel and Thrive?

or do they make me Contract, Frustrated, Loose myself and Suffer?"

Healthy relationships are unfortunately not the norm these days.

Extraordinary partnerships, are not the result of good luck, great chemistry or convenience.

Rather, there are laws of love - skills that need to be practiced and applied - that determine the level of fulfillment you can experience in your marriage, partnerships and all other relationships.

What are healthy relationships?

A strong and healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. A good relationship adds greatly to the quality of your life. Together you can accomplish so many more things than on your own. A great relationship helps you to grow, it brings out the best in you and encourages you to be more of who you are.

When a relationship is unhealthy it can hold you back and cause much unnecessary suffering.

So what are the main ingredients of healthy relationships?

Whatever happens, you always have a basis of respect, care and love with that person.
Whatever happens, you are always able to find a way to communicate your feelings, thoughts and needs with each other.
Together you have the ability to use conflict to further grow together and increase intimacy.
You are involved with each other and are spending quality time together.
You keep outside relationships and interests alive.

You can learn these skills, and through practice you can grow and have the most enriching and meaningful connections with all the people around you.

And...

The most natural tendency for us is to focus on the external results that come from things like improving our communication skills or learning to listen more deeply.

These are valuable skills to have but there is so much more to have!

Pursuing your personal vision of truly meaningful relationships always creates greater value in your personal life and the lives of those around you, thus creates a base for healthy relationships. You are finding yourself more and more connected to your true self, and simultaneously you become less self focused. You start to include more and more the people around you and giving to the other becomes a way of living. Contributing to others is what gives our lives meaning and a deep sense of fulfillment.

A Relationship Exercise

Take one minute and read the first instructions:

Think about your ideal scenario for your relationship without any limits.

If you could create your version of a deeply satisfying, enjoyable, meaningful and empowering companionship,

what would it look like?

What would it feel like?

Where would you live?

What kind of activities would you do together?

How would it be?

Who else would be there?

Close your eyes, take your time and fill in all the details until the picture looks and feels just right. In fact, don’t open your eyes until you are really clear on all the details and can actually feel yourself in the picture. It is powerful to write it down.

Now take another look:

How does that visualized partnership compare with your current reality? Is it close? Are you moving toward it, or is the difference like night and day? Write down all aspects that you see.

The vision of your ideal relationship is important to know because it defines a clear path and gives us something to move toward.

Don't make the mistake to think that life starts when you have that relationship. Life is what happens along the way and the secret is to enjoy the journey to increase your consciousness and awareness as that is where the true happiness lies.

This relationship exercise should help you to create a plan on how to move forward and also to get more deeply in touch with what you really desire in relationship and what is not working for you.

Interested to invest in your relationship?

We invite you to visit the Secret Garden Retreats with your partner for a couples retreat.

How to create healthy relationships?

Rose Tol

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